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Unity in Marriage

Throughout this semester I have studied and written about ways in which we can create a more tender, loving, cohesive marriage. One theme seemed to line every page. Unity. Unity in intimacy, unity in friendship, parenting, decision making, responsibilities. The more cohesive a marriage is the more they are on the same page with their goals and values. The couple is able to breeze past the small stuff, and when it really counts, their unity is what gets them through the really tough stuff.  

Do you know a couple like this? There is a couple I know and admire that provides this example to me. You would think they have had it easy. The way they laugh through life and smile and hold each other. On any given night you can find them spending time together. They would rather be together instead of with friends. They have been married for almost a decade and a half, and for their entire marriage they have faced insurmountable trials. The entire time I have known them they have had tragedies they face. Sometimes I wonder how they do it, how they stay happy and together despite everything that happens to them. When you ask them they say, " Every time we see trouble coming we lock arms and put our heads to the wind. What we face never becomes facing each other, we never blame each other, we just fight together. The real difference is in the down times. Sometimes in times of peace, pride can rise and separate you over silly things. We use our down time to strengthen each other, spend time together, and enjoy one another." This comes as we use the atonement of Jesus Christ to heal and strengthen ourselves."
Part of our readings this semester has focused on how there will always be differences in our spouse that we cannot change. We need to live our lives in such away that irritability warn us that we have something to correct ourselves, and not try to change our spouse. This comes through seeking to be one with the Savior. "In those few words He made clear how the gospel of Jesus Christ can allow hearts to be made one. Those who would believe the truth He taught could accept the ordinances and the covenants offered by His authorized servants. Then, through obedience to those ordinances and covenants, their natures would be changed. The Savior’s Atonement in that way makes it possible for us to be sanctified. We can then live in unity, as we must to have peace in this life and to dwell with the Father and His Son in eternity" (Eyring, 1998) When we come to the savior and become unified in him through the atonement, we worry only for our own sins that need to change. Wanting to change another brings pride and enmity between us. The opposite of unity. Instead we need to seek for our own change.
When we want a better more loving and tender marriage, unity is the place to start. To improve our unity we need to improve ourselves and unify with the Savior. In this we will find peace and joy and love in our marriage.
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